Sunday, November 13, 2011

A Tiny Bit About Me

I was listening to one of my playlists just now and a song came on that brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it. I wanted to share a bit about my experience with everyone.

I have been blessed with three wonderful children. Kaitlyn - 16, Kara - 11, and DJ who would have been 13 this year. He passed away in April of 2003, one week before his 6th birthday. He was my shining angel then, today he is my guardian angel.

Born weighing 1.5 lbs, 15 weeks early, he shouldn't have lived minutes, much less blessed us with 6 years of joy and amazement. He was the embodiment of unconditional love. He was a socialite, a class clown, and a manipulating little boy. No, I'm not being mean, just honest.

We went through many years of every kind of therapy you can imagine: physical, speech, occupational - at 18 months old we had him on horses. He balked at first, cried until the therapist took him off the horse and hugged him. While she was feeling bad for him, he was looking at me with - well, there are no other words to describe it - a shit-eating grin and a gleam in his eyes. I had to tell the therapist to put him back on the horse and make him ride. The very next week, he didn't shed one fact, he laughed the whole way.

He and Kaitlyn attended the same school from the time he was three until he passed away. Each morning, she would push him to his classroom. After a couple of weeks, her girl classmates were fighting over who would help her take him to class. He giggled and convinced several to let him coast down a slight decline in the hall on the way to his room. Bad thing, the principal stood there and laughed.

DJ was considered to have a mild disability that mainly affected his gross motor skills. He could roll, crawl, talk plain as day, write, and was considered cognitively age appropriate. His wheelchair became known as his "car" to the kindergarten class he attended part day. Every child at Paramount Terrace Elementary School accepted him just like he was one of them. His teachers let him run over him because he had a smile that would bring you to your knees. My mother-in-law thought I was horrible for putting him in time out when he bit his little sister.

There is never a single day that goes by that I don't think about him. Time has lessened the pain but has amplified the memories. He was a shining beacon of life and now he is my reminder of how truly precious life is. He is the example I use of acceptance...DJ never met a stranger and we never dealt with the prejudice that can accompany people with disabilities.

My family is filled with people from every make of life. Different races, religious and political beliefs, sexual preferences, disabilities, different stages of lunacy, and anything else you can imagine. Through it all, we love each other and encourage courteous and thoughtful discussions. I always encourage questions that are asked in good taste. Well articulated and factual debates are a great chance to learn about other peoples opinions. Remember that all people are allowed their opinion, you don't have to agree, but you should always respect. People are people...simple as that. No labels...just people.

Anyway...the name of the song is God's Will by Martina McBride. Watch the's amazing.


  1. Wow, I can't imagine losing a child. But you're right, he is still with you. That's great that you treated him just as you would your other kids. Thank you for sharing your story, and I absolutely love this song.

  2. Christy,

    Thanks for stopping by. It means a lot that you took a moment to read my story!

  3. Kristin, I didn't know what you've been through... I can't imagine how difficult and painful it is was for you and your family, and I'm sure it's never easy since then... I can't imagine myself losing a child much more Tristan... I was teary-eyed when I read your story, you're tough and God has been faithful to you too cos He's giving you joy and strength amidst all the circumstances in your life. It was a very sad but inspiring story. Thank you for sharing it with us. Hugs and Prayers from me (across the miles). XOXO!

  4. Thanks April. I will openly admit that losing a child is the hardest thing I think anybody can go through. I miss him greatly and the struggle has been long, but the time he was with us was more amazing then I can begin to describe. Your words are perfect.

  5. Kristin, Thank you for sharing your story. Your words are so elegant and heartfelt. You are an amazing mom to realize what your son and family really needed instead of bowing to presure from teachers and family. You are truly smiling through the pain and finding the joy God has given you. Kim

  6. Such a moving story. Thank you for sharing that with us! I am sure he watches over you ever day and knows how much you love hiM! he sounds like a true angel both when he was here on earth and now that he has passed.

  7. Kylie, thank you for stopping by to read my little story. He was indeed an angel then and now. It touches my heart when my readers take time to read my personal endeavors. Thank you again.

  8. Kim, thank you for stopping by. I truly appreciate your kind words. It has taken me quite a while to get past the tears but each day is a blessing to us all. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment on this post. You will never know how much it truly means.

  9. Mom, this is a really good review of our life. Our family is a tiny bit of everything, emphasis on the lunacy part. (: jkjk. Love yu momma.



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